Man refuses to cosign a car loan for his financially irresponsible 23-year-old brother, sparking family argument when his brother accuses him of being selfish for protecting his hard-earned credit: 'I’ve spent the last year fixing my own mess'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 20, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Family is the most important thing in the world, and if everyone were fortunate enough to support every member of their family, we have no doubt they would. But not everyone is born a Bezos or is an offspring of the Kardashian clan… Just because most people wish to support their entire family doesn't mean they are always in the position to do so. Especially if certain members prove themselves as less responsible… Take this big brother, for instance.

He adores his younger brother, yet he is not naive to his irresponsible spending habits, and the low credit score that comes along with it. Now his brother is asking him to co-sign on a car for him. He really wants to help his brother, but he, himself, has worked tirelessly to get out of debt and to a credit status in which he is proud. So, as much as helping his brother might be the 'right' thing to do, he is grappling with the fact that it definitely wouldn't be the smartest. 

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  • What makes this older brother's mind up is his brother's reaction to his initial refusal, as he brings up the irrelevant ‘you owe me’s' of the past. However, we're not as sure that lending your sibling $40 for gas money is the same as being responsible for their car costs if they fail to make payments… which is something this brother even claimed is a major possibility! Officially making co-signing sound that much more appealing!

  • Son of Docum mount in Written Words) e following: mount is based on the schedule of price which is attached to and made a pa in the agregate sum of the re
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  • AITJ for refusing to cosign anything for my brother even though he says I “owe him”?

    So yeah, I honestly didn't think this would turn into a whole thing, but here I am.
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  • My younger brother (23) has been trying to get a car loan. His credit isn't great.
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  • He missed some payments a while back, and he kinda shrugs everything off like it'll fix itself.
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  • I've tried talking to him but he gets annoyed the second anything sounds like advice. Last week he comes to me and goes, "Bro, they said if I get a cosigner it's basically guaranteed.
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  • You have good credit now, right? Just sign it." Like it was nothing. Like it was asking for a ride or something.
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  • For context, I've spent the last year fixing my own mess. I used to overspend and run up credit cards without thinking.
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  • I only got back on track after switching to a debit card that reports to the bureaus so l couldn't screw myself over with debt again.
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  • Artick 3 In consideration of Contract Docum (Amount in Written Words) bject to the following: Said amount is based on the schedule of price posal, which is attached to and made a pa the aggregate sum of the re antities:
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It helped me rebuild slowly, and finally feel like I'm not drowning. My score is something I actually feel proud of for once.
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  • So I told him I'm not cosigning anything. Not a car, not a phone, nothing. I said it calmly, not rude, just... firm.
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  • He immediately got defensive. Then he brought up some stuff from YEARS ago like when he spotted me $40 once for gas when we were teenagers, like that somehow puts me in debt for life.
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  • I told him it's not personal, I just can't risk my credit or be legally tied to something he admits he might trade in later or might miss a payment if money's tight.
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  • Those were his exact words. He got pissed, called me selfish, and now he's not talking to me unless I "fix this." My mom is kind of in the middle but also hinted that I should just consider it, which doesn't help.
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  • I don't want to ruin the relationship but I'm not risking my financial stability just because he made bad choices and doesn't want the consequences.
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  • AITA for putting my foot down?
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  • lambsendbeds Let mom co-sign for your brother if it's no big deal. You'd be crazy to risk ruining the progress you've made. NTJ.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Realistic-Lake5897 DO NOT CO SIGN FOR ANYONE.
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  • TheWaco Fogey NTA. Never cosign for anyone other than a spouse. And getting spotted $40 is not at all the same thing as taking responsibility for a loan of thousands of dollars. That alone suggests that your brother is a bad credit risk.
    via TheWacoFogey
  • Jazzlike_Adeptness_1 He literally told you that he'll fuck up your credit. might miss a payment if money's tight. Those were his exact words. NTJ He's an immature idiot who has, and will continue, to ruin his credit. You don't need to join him on his journey. My son didn't have any credit. He graduated college and wanted to buy a car. Dealer offered 20% interest rate (this was about 15 years ago). He didn't have bad credit, just never had a credit card or anything that would establish a credit h
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  • Beginning_You_7441 NTA. Stay firm. No. And, no explanations needed.
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  • Bodacious Vermin Congrats to you for getting your finances sorted. Don't risk your success by going on a bad bet for him. NTJ
    via BodaciousVermin
  • ImportantClub8857 Don't do it! NTJ! 700
    via ImportantClub8857

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Tags

refusal bank family drama credit score drama credit card brother mother car adulting siblings high-credit score tension loan bills family co-sign brothers
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